Raw, exposed
Like an egg out of its shell
SPLAT! in the bottom of the pan
With the truth searing my most sensitive parts,
I sat.

The inner dam of deception had sprung a leak
And the words cascaded forth before my lips could hold them back.
He took advantage of me.

With 20/15 vision, I saw it all.
How he had targeted me
How I was primed to hear his inviting words
How I separated myself from those I loved
How his pride made him what he was.

Why didn’t I see it then?
How could I have been so stupid?

Young. Not stupid.
Just
Young

Too young to know to struggle,
Until it was too late.
I lost hope of dignity, but went down with integrity.
And as I staggered to my feet on the mat of confrontation,
I smiled, half toothless, in defiance.
His smirk is unforgettable, the contempt in his eyes

I limped away promising that he will not, will not make me cry

I should have known.

Shame like a bruise on my face
Pain tattooed across my psyche, across my heart
His words like the phantom letters of erasable ink.
I L-O-V-E Y-O-U
Y-O-U
Why?

In the stripping away of all that I loved,
I saw.
Emerging from his “protective” shell,
I was led out into a broad and spacious place.
Exposed? No, revealed.
I am undercooked, not raw.

He knew my potential, but I am more than what he was shaping me to be.

First taste of freedom like scorching hot oil
There is no turning back.
Because it is for freedom that I have been set free.
Let me not become a slave again.

There is no turning back.

Amen.